Can You Love More Than One Person At A Time?

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Love is too big of an emotion to expect to only be able to feel it for one person. There are many types of love. I have been married for, well lets just say almost 2 decades and can tell you that sometimes you have to CHOOSE to love someone for a bit (b/c you may not always like them – ha!) It’s important to remember that the same is always true for the other person too. By hanging in there through the rainbows and mud puddles, not giving up on each other, and realizing that you both have survived each others flaws and imperfections, broken AND mended each others hearts… well thats when you look over and say “Now THAT is my true best friend.” That’s real true married love. It takes time and a real commitment. Sometimes folks just throw in the towel it seems like, and usually it’s over unmet expectations of some sort. There is other kinds of love…. All love is important and has a place. We learn from every relationship we have.. romantic or not. At least we should. That’s how we decide what is BS, what really matters… and what is just “fluff”. Enjoy all of them!

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15 thoughts on “Can You Love More Than One Person At A Time?

  1. Agreed. Humans change a lot over the course of a lifetime. Expecting your spouse to evolve with and at the same rate could damage your marriage permanently. So what do you do when you can’t get everything you need/want from your marriage?

    Falling in love is one of the most amazing things we get to experience. Is it wrong to love more than one? I don’t know. But it’s possible. And I might argue sometimes necessary.

    • What do I do? Well…admitingly I look elsewhere, but I think its mostly involuntary. I allow my eye to wander, yet my heart remains hers! If something comes of my eye wandering, and something physical develops with someone else, then by all means, depending on how I feel, I may or may not see it thru and allow for some amount of pleasure to be had.

      I do my best to keep my emotions out of it, yet at times, its almost like it was meant to be and my heart bleeds for someone else and because for once, it feels so fucking good to be “wanted” and desired, I give in!

      • I have a very hard time with it. I just recently said goodbye to someone I was seeing and emotions began to fill me so I thought it best to part ways….but damn she was gorgeous…her hardest thing was the moral dilemma with being with a married man! I saw that as potentially something in the future that could cause an issue.

      • It really is…the question is this though…do you risk one love for the other and what do you base its value off of? Sex is always great and intense in the beginning, then it dies off and becomes something else, something deeper, though the heart still yurns for that intensity. So which do you strive to protect???

      • God, I’ve struggled with that question intensely. Sex is amazing. Sex with my husband is good, great even. It has only gotten better over the last ten years. But I’ve always been missing a deeper connection in this relationship, and have but been able to manufacture it.

        Getting it outside of my marriage is perhaps wrong. But I’ve struggled plenty to try to find it here, in vain. Finding it with someone else, falling in love with someone else is dangerous. But I’m whole, for the first time in a very long time. It’s made me a better wife, mother and friend.

        Maybe I’m making excuses. I don’t know.

      • Sounds like you and I are on the same path….Good to know we aren’t alone! And I do not believe you are making excuses…I like to think that you are finding reasons!!!!

  2. yeah i totally agree. i wrote something similar to this myself. but my husband and i have had to try very hard at times to continue to stay in love, we have been through so much, drugs, alcoholism, an affair, the loss of our daughter, and the list gos on. we have fought like crazy for each other, and i think we are finally in a place where we can just be in love without struggling to do so.

  3. Completely agree. It’s ridiculous to expect your feelings to remain consistent throughout your entire life. After all, if you stayed the same person until death you wouldn’t have learnt anything, grown as a person, experienced life.

    We love lots of friends at the same time, love our family. Monogamy may work for some people but it is just a construct, which we can choose to buy into or opt out of.

    • First of all…thanks for finding me and following! I like your page as well! Secondly, Its nice to see that there are so many more people than I ever first thought as being of the same mind! Thank you!

  4. Love this post and the follow up conversation! Well done on all counts. I personally am very polyamorous in both practice and thinking / desires. The two men in my life (one my husband, one my boyfriend who lives with us) are very important to me and I love them both dearly and simultaneously, and it all feels very natural to me. When I try to explain it to other people, they don’t always understand. But it is not my job to make them understand. But I’m happy to open their minds to new concepts that they have never thought of before perhaps.

    • Thank you so very much! Sadly there is only one person I wish I could make see the light, and that person has no sex drive to speak of and the few times I have mentioned an open marriage or if she would like a BF or a GF it has been shot done very quickly and without ability to come back to it in a later conversation. Its a hard, hard life I lead and I am so thankful to you all for being the rock in my sad little tale of trying to understand it all!!!

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